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*Cue Dramatic Music* Loaf Of The Gods

I'm not entirely sure how I did it, but I created a true work of art the other night. Out of four generic brand premade ground beef hamburger patties and a few things I had laying around the kitchen, I made The Meatloaf to end all meatloaves. It was the moistest, most perfectly spiced, most succulent meatloaf I have ever eaten in my entire life. I don't remember selling my soul to Satan, but I must've, because DAMN, it was as if I stole it directly from the kitchen of the gods. I couldn't help but imagine what it would taste like with real meat. The one and only drawback was that it was slightly more fragile than most meatloaves I've eaten, but usually the density comes at the expense of flavor. I'll happily sacrifice a small amount of density/shape for taste.

After eating, I felt like I should go to confession or something and beg forgiveness for pilfering G-d's dinner. Lucky I live so close to the Cathedral.

1 lb ground beef or 4 pre-made (but not pre-cooked) hamburger patties
3-4 handfulls of breadcrumbs
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 onion, roughly chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 beaten egg

1/2 cup chili sauce
1 teaspoon ground cumin
Dash Worcestershire sauce
Dash hot pepper sauce
1 tablespoon honey

Combine loaf ingredients in a large bowl. Mix gently, but thorougly until ingredients are blended. I used my hands (washed, of course), but there are varying schools of thought as to whether this is the best method.

Pack this mixture into a 10-inch loaf pan to mold the shape of the meatloaf. Turn the meatloaf out of the pan into the center of a greased/cooking sprayed glass baking dish. If you don't have a bread pan, you can just make an oblong mound directly on the dish. Place meatloaf on the center rack, with a pie dish (or any other sort of baking dish) of water underneath. The water will evaporate upwards and moisten the meatloaf so as to prevent dryness.

Combine the chili sauce, cumin, Worcestershire sauce, hot pepper sauce and honey. Pour glaze over meatloaf. Bake in oven on 325 degrees for roughly an hour and a half, checking with a meat thermometer to be sure that it is done all the way through. Once meatloaf is cooked, remove from oven and allow to set for 10 minutes. Transfer meatloaf to plate and serve.

*note: A little bit of juice will form around the meatloaf. That's ok, it doesn't hurt the taste at all.



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